8: Finding Balance in Real Estate: A Deep Dive

In this episode, Rebecca Green and Kim Borcherding delve into the complexities of work-life balance in the real estate industry. They discuss the importance of understanding personal desires, the challenges of maintaining alignment in a busy career, and the necessity of taking time for self-reflection. The conversation highlights the hamster wheel effect many agents experience, the significance of profitability over sheer volume, and the transformative power of Breathwork as a tool for clarity. They emphasize the need for mentorship, community support, and the impact of work-life balance on personal relationships, ultimately advocating for a healthier approach to real estate careers.

Takeaways

• Most people struggle to answer the question, 'What do you want?'.
• New agents often have clearer visions of their desires than seasoned agents.
• Finding alignment in your career is crucial for success.
• The hamster wheel of real estate can lead to burnout and chaos.
• Profitability should be prioritized over volume in real estate.
• Taking time for self-reflection is essential for clarity.
• Breathwork can be a powerful tool for mental clarity and grounding.
• Healthy business practices can improve both personal and professional life.
• Mentorship and community support are vital for growth and change.
• Work-life balance significantly impacts personal relationships and overall happiness.

Chapters

• 0:00 Exploring Work-Life Balance in Real Estate
• 2:49 Understanding What You Truly Want
• 6:06 The Hamster Wheel
• 8:54 Finding Alignment and Profitability
• 11:49 The Importance of Clarity and Space
• 15:08 Breathwork
• 17:52 Creating Healthy Business Practices
• 21:12 Navigating Change and Transition
• 24:02 The Role of Mentorship and Community
• 27:11 The Impact of Work-Life Balance on Relationships
• 30:12 Closing Thoughts on Profitability and Balance

Transcript

Rebecca Green (00:00.14)
Welcome to How to Real Estate Today. I'm here with my co-host Kim Borcherding. We are recording episode eight of our new podcast, which we're having so much fun with. Today we're gonna talk about work-life balance and if that really exists and understanding how to get there, some simple questions that you need to ask yourself to even think about achieving it.

So I'm gonna jump right in and this might be one of my favorite Mel Robbins questions and or posts that I see her putting out there often. What do you want? It's the simplest question that so many people can't answer. So Kim, I'm gonna turn it over to you when you're talking with agents and if you ask them what they want, like what's the general reaction and response?

Well, I think that answer really varies. I think first off, most people don't really know and they're actually intrigued that I'm asking that question because I'm like, okay, you've asked for time to talk with me because I don't know, you think I have some insight for you. And when I ask them what do they, they don't really know. So that's always, I'm like, okay, but that's fine. Sometimes it takes somebody to ask you that question thing.

But I also think that it really just, there's a range. I think again, in this business, if you're a real estate agent, real estate broker, you're in the real estate industry, there's a range. And that depends on the season you are in this career. So if you are a new agent who is talking with me about, you know, getting into real estate, what they want is maybe just to have a little bit more ownership.

in their life. They don't want to work a nine to five. That's what I find. just want, they don't, they want to more flexibility, more freedom, and they want to have control over the income that, that they can earn. So that tends to be, and also they like pretty houses. know that. So when you're first, that's what they want. And that, that is like freedom, flexibility, ability to like kind of, you know, create your own destiny.

Rebecca Green (02:22.958)
versus what somebody might want in year three versus year five versus year 10. So that really changes in the season you are in this career because what I have wanted has been like five different versions of what success looks like for me in this career. And again, I'm probably on version five of success. What's interesting that you just said is I think new agents, when you ask them what they want,

new agents might be able to answer that question more than a seasoned agent or somebody who's been in the business for a period of time. I often find those are the agents that are like, yeah, I have no idea. I just don't want what I have. Yes. Yes. Right. And you're like, OK, well, step it back a little bit and answer what you really want. Because if you can't answer what you really want, it's really hard to take the steps needed to get there if you don't really know the destination. And I say all the time,

If you're driving from Portland, Oregon to Chicago, Illinois, you need a map. You need to know that you're going to Chicago, right? So that you can be on the right path from point A to point B. And so that was interesting that you started with that new agents. I think they fully understand what they want. They might not know how to get there, but they understand what they want. It's the more seasoned agents that are like, yeah, I have no idea. I just don't like where I am right now.

because you quickly in this business get really out of whack from a balanced standpoint. Absolutely. And I'd say probably most people in my peer group who've been an agent for 10 plus years probably would honestly say what they have is not what they want. I would say the majority of agents 10 plus years in this business would be like, this is not what I want. Not what I want. And again, then not knowing

what they do want or how to make the change or what what what looks different but they just don't feel I always talk about this I would say in alignment like are you and that is success for me if I'm in alignment with with myself and again different seasons of life that that that shifts but if I'm not in alignment that that is where my issue is so for me what is my most number one thing is finding alignment and yes and I and I personally have some

Rebecca Green (04:44.844)
rituals that I do to help to help be in alignment. So yeah, and we talk a lot about alignment. You and I talk a lot about alignment, you know, to achieve the things that you're looking for. But I would agree with you that, you know, agents get trapped in busyness because I think that's what you're saying. We get trapped in busyness to the point where we don't have the ability to identify what we want.

and or identify the things that are working and not working. Yes. Right. And so sitting with yourself to be able to figure out what you need to find yourself in alignment sometimes is impossible when we are on that hamster wheel of transaction after transaction and chasing a GCI. Right. Yep. So tell, let me ask you, Rebecca. Yeah. Tell me in your career as a real estate broker here,

When did you find that you had the best balance in your career? Life? Right now, today. Yeah, right now, today. Honestly? Yeah. You know, it's been interesting. I've gone through a ton of transition over the last five years, and much of it was very, very intentional. Much of it was not intentional at all because I was on...

that hamster wheel and sometimes I like it. I was on the hamster wheel that was rolling down the hill. Okay, can you explain to people what does that hamster wheel mean? So again, we know because we're in the real estate business. Okay. Explain to someone who might not know what real estate AJ hamster wheel means. Yeah, for me, I think it means chasing the next 12 transactions, chasing an increased GCI. For me, it was adding team members, building a bigger framework.

you know, that for me was the hamster wheel and I was very much so active in the selling as well as managing, as well as coaching, as well as mentoring, as well as hiring, as well as training. You know, I was involved in all aspects of the business and I was constantly chasing the next agent and the next 12 to 24 transactions.

Rebecca Green (07:04.718)
And then with that, when you're doing that, what does your personal life look like? it's a disaster. It's a mess. It's a total mess. know, and you're never for me, it was I was never fully off or never fully disengaged. And I'm definitely one that puts certain things in place. For example, I rarely even when I was so busy, I rarely worked a Sunday. Sunday was always my day. You know, I didn't

I didn't work on Sundays. So I set boundaries and even with those boundaries, I was able not to be in a car with buyers or at showing houses or working with a seller or working with anyone on my team on a Sunday. I was really able to disconnect physically, but mentally when you have that much going on, you're always on. You're always on.

You know, I wasn't sleeping. My husband is a vivid dreamer and we often laugh. You know, he'll get up in the morning and he's like, wow, wildest dream ever. And I'm like, yep, you said that yesterday. And then he'd say, what did you dream about? And I'm like, I dreamt about Main Street closing. Or I dreamt about the home inspection on Ash. You know, I mean, I literally was having dreams about my transactions.

And so, you know, that hamster wheel for me was, you know, growth that, and listen, I am systematic. I have a lot of structure in place. I've got great SOPs for everyone that works with me. You know, I have a lot of structure that I relied on, but even with it, I was just constantly chasing more transactions and...

You know, I intentionally jumped off that hamster wheel. Another thing, and I'll back up, another thing about that hamster wheel is working with people on my team that I wasn't in alignment with, right? Even though I was leading the team, I, and I could have let any of them go at any time. I was a sucker for, we'll get there, right? We'll get there. Potential. I was always in potential.

Rebecca Green (09:25.006)
And I knew in my heart that it was just not a good fit, but I continued to do it. That's part of that hamster wheel, right? And so I made a very intentional jump right off the hamster wheel and really dug deep into comparing, this metric of volume and units and really honing in on profitability instead of those things. Profitability and alignment, the agents felt.

that were a part of the team, the agents that I worked with, even though when I was super busy, I was still saying no to more agents than I was saying yes to. I was also making hires or bringing people on to facilitate getting the deal done, right? And so from a personal life standpoint, when you're constantly on the go like that, it's just, it's impossible. It's impossible to strike a balance. And I think we start lying to ourselves too.

because I was so busy, I didn't actually have time to sit with decisions. I was just making decisions and lots of times just spending money to get things from point A to point B and that is no way to run a business, right? So I feel for people and even like I said, I had structures in place and I had people in place. It still was not the right balance for me in any way, or form. No, I mean, I, I mean, again, I

I still, again, I'm in a transition now, which I'm so grateful for because, you know, going to lunch with somebody and lifting up your phone and seeing just a few swipes of text messages that you need to handle now, it's like, that is a normal for a busy real estate agent. And that is just, again, that constant interruption in your life. Like, it's a lot. And again, I'm like, I'm so impressed by great agents and how hard they work.

Yeah, because they they are really skilled but it is a lot to do that and for me for my observations is very few agents Successful agents then have a business that they run that they're in lineman, right with have their health, know in alignment their mental health their physical health their their relationships with you know with their the people in their home their children their marriages

Rebecca Green (11:49.902)
their whatever, their family, whatever. The relationship, yeah, the relationships. Their financial health, gosh, I again, I love this conversation about profitability because nobody really talks about it. And it's like, what are we doing here, people? But their financial health, again, their retirement. This is where I find when you have honest conversations with agents, you find a lot of them are behind in arrears and their taxes. They don't have retirement.

They have not been invested, this is as find odd, they don't invest in real estate. When I'm like, don't you know that's a great way to build wealth and stability for yourself? So yeah, they, yeah, so their financial health. so, and again, I'm all you do you, but also is that really successful? So I don't care now. Totally, and at some point I really cared about top producer, I really cared about my numbers.

Now I care about what does your blood work look like? What are your markers? Yeah, what is your sleep? What is your marriage look like? What are your relationship with your children? Is your home thriving? Like all these other things. But also you can't have successful business. So tell me more. I want to hear more about what you're doing from a profitability standpoint. So what are the shifts that you decide to make to be more profitable and less busy?

Yeah, it was realigning with the people I had on my team, getting rid of some of the agents that I knew were looking to do the business rather than build a business. And that's a really important differential for me, right? That was definitely one thing. I also made a shift. I had been working with a retiring agent. I made a shift that that was not healthy. It was...

very different business philosophies. was great volume and great income, but it was at too much of an expense. had no time for, I had no time for myself. I had no time for sitting with things. Like I talked a lot to agents about sitting with decisions that you need to make, right? You know, I could, one of the things that you mentioned is kudos to all of the agents running big, huge businesses without a doubt.

Rebecca Green (14:10.51)
On average, I read not long ago, I knew this for, I've known this for some time. On average, there are 17 different people involved in every transaction. So if you take 17 people in every transaction and you're doing a hundred transactions a year, the volume of people involved in your existence, right, is so high. You talk about text messages and emails.

The management of all of that is just immense, right? So for me, it was, you know, re-evaluating my team, really deciding what I wanted and what was important to me. And I go back to that first Mel Robbins question, like, what do you want? I wanted to be mentoring more and involved less in the day-to-day transactions, but I needed an agent that I could comfortably hand my client base off to, right? So that's a hard...

That can be hard to find, believe it or not. That can be, even though I had amazing agents, clients expect a certain set of something. this is ironically the agents that I mentor and coach, the ones that have been in the business for quite some time and they're looking to make a shift. I'm talking to them about the same things that I myself knew I should have been doing and I wasn't. So that was- And this is why, again, tell me if I'm wrong. This is why I think it's hard to find somebody

because if they are good, it's because again, you have an established business, you care, you want somebody that you can vouch for, that you feel comfortable putting in front of your clients, okay? So it's gonna be somebody who's a good agent. And if they were a good agent, they probably have a successful business of their own and not in a place to take over your business. And, or if it's somebody who seems like they've been doing this, they either don't have the drive or...

So clearly something didn't click because there's plenty of agents been doing this five, 10 years and they still yet to find success in this business. And I'm like, okay, you're missing it somewhere. Like you're not working hard enough. Like you're just not getting it. to find- I'll you why. Yeah, tell me why you found a person who you can vouch for to step in and is not too busy to help you with your business.

Rebecca Green (16:27.576)
So I'm gonna speak from my own experience, but I'm also gonna speak from probably a dozen agents that I have been mentoring for the last five years, right? It's control. It always boils down to the inability to let go just a little bit. And it's a mindset thing, right? So the agents that are really struggling to find somebody at that capacity, there are two problems that I've seen. One,

They're so controlling, they can't let go of anything, right? Because there is almost a fear, I've built this business, my clients are so important, I have to continue down this path of working with them at this capacity or I'm gonna lose my income, I'm gonna lose my business, right? So it's fear and control. And then the other one is not having systems in place in order to be able to clearly articulate expectations.

of the other agent that they've brought in, right? So now expectations aren't met on either sides. But to me, it's those two things. And you can't let go of anything unless you really establish what you want. It goes back to that very first question, what do you want? It took me really sitting with myself and I took like a six month sabbatical last year, end of last year, beginning of this year. It took...

It took me some time to unwind from the craziness, right? Step away from my day-to-day sales business, right? And really figure out I didn't want to be so transactionally involved. I had to actually establish that as a want before I could move towards it because I had never really said that to myself before. I mean, does that make sense? Yeah, it does make sense.

Did you feel like you had the knowing about that or like how did that come out that you didn't want to Yeah, I didn't realize that because I love my business and I was doing it well. You know what I mean? We were hitting the mark. We were hitting the metric. know, and again, I go back to like I had systems and structure in place. Like it was just a high volume. It was high octane. Things weren't falling apart. I didn't feel like in chaos in any way. It was just a constant go, go, go. Right. It was that hamster wheel.

Rebecca Green (18:50.342)
So it wasn't like the business was running poorly, right? At all. And so, you know, whereas I know a lot of agents that I talk to, they're like chaos everywhere. You know, I didn't feel that chaos. was just such high volume, right? Like that was my thing. So it, no, I didn't know that I needed to step outside of the transactions until I really spent some time saying, okay, how can I, how can I

run a successful business, focus more on profitability, right? And, you know, really do the things that I wanna do, which is coaching and mentoring. Like I really wanted to help other agents learn from my mistakes and learn from my successes, right? Like, but I really had to ask myself, what is it that I want? And I had to be honest. And so, no, it's not like I knew that for five years and I ignored it. I needed to take a dive off the hamster wheel

to have the time to be able to answer the question, right? Yes. Okay. So, so what I'm hearing you, you're saying you need, you need to kind of slow down, find the time to ask yourself, what do you want? Tell me as if I am like a second grader, what in your, from your experience, what does, if you're getting advice, somebody you're like, take time. What exactly do you think taking time looks like? What literally, what steps would somebody do if I was like a second grade it's different for everybody.

I think it's different for everybody. I consciously made a decision to take a couple of months off. Tell me what does that mean to you? It was good timing because it was November, December, January, so the market was a little bit slower. I did have clients that called in when I was slowing down a little bit. I got rid of everybody on my team. That was one thing. I went down just myself and one licensed

you know, my director of operations, she's licensed. So that was one conscious decision. And then, and also I shouldn't say I got rid of everyone on my team. Honestly, there were just periods when I was changing brokerages where it made sense for, you know, agents to stay where they were. And there were some that I did let go of. There were some that I knew weren't working, but it was the universe creating this opportunity for me.

Rebecca Green (21:12.23)
I was looking and listening and I took advantage of it. And then once I had shifted gears with my team, there was another agent that I really wanted to bring into taking over my business. I recognized six months too late that she was never gonna step up, right? She was looking to do the job, not run a business or build a business. And so...

making that shift and letting that agent go was kind of the last step, right? But, you know, I made it when I had clients call in during that kind of November, December, January period, you know, I'd ask like, really, what does your timeline look like? Do you have to go to market today? And a lot of them were just thinking about it. So it was really fortunate for me that I had, you know, clients that could wait. But, you know, I just took less on.

If I had new people that weren't existing clients or referrals from past clients, I do get a lot of leads on my website and I have some referral partners that I do bring in probably 12 deals a year from. I was sending those to other agents. I just wasn't taking new people on, right? So for me, it was time. I had to jump off the hamster wheel. I had to invest in myself.

You know, and for what I needed was just space, right? I needed space in my house. needed, you know, opportunity to go for longer walks. I just needed time. Not talking to other people. I needed time to have conversations with myself. I get it. Not everyone can just stop their business. I also had Jessica, you know, my director of operations who was picking a lot of other things up. But for me, it was, I knew I needed. I needed to stop.

doing as many, like I needed to get out of transactions for a hot second. When I'm mentoring agents that don't have the ability just to turn their business off or they don't have anyone, you know, that can pick up that slack, so to say, you know, one of the things that I speak to is, are you saying yes to things that you should be saying no to? Right? It's generally finding space. So,

Rebecca Green (23:33.198)
when I start really asking agents that I mentor to dig deep on that, the answer is, yeah, I'm doing stuff that's bringing no value. I'm doing it just because it's what I've always done. Brokers opens would be one of those things. I'm spending two and a half, three hours doing a broker open. Does that bring any value to your business? No, none whatsoever. Make the house open and let somebody access it via lockbox. You can achieve those things.

I get the agent to agent relationship, but I don't know if you're not looking to hire an agent or you're not looking to grow a team, it's a waste of time. It's a total waste of time. And again, it'd be better off, again, that's on a high volume of ages that come through. So what are you gonna talk to five people? I mean, I don't know. It's so again, you could

Better off in your office, a million different things or a million different ways to build agent relationships. And that's not the best use. So I challenge agents to find those spaces where they can create time for themselves. So instead of doing the broker open on a Tuesday for two hours, which really takes you four hours because it's an hour to get ready and you're bringing food, whatever you're doing in an hour to clean up. So take those four hours, get in the car and drive to the beach. Walk the beach if that's your happy place. Right.

you know, sit in your backyard, wherever you can carve out time to breathe, right? Time just for yourself. And so I do also, you know, push agents to think about scheduling time for themselves because when you're so busy, you can't do that. Which is a great segue. Talk to me a little bit about BreathWorks because that's in my, my, my, my go breathe is not.

breathwork, but it's my version of take a hot second for yourself. But breathwork is something I know you've utilized to craft different phases of your life, right? Yep, absolutely. Well, I'd say with that, anytime I've made big transitions my life, it's because I got a very clear vision taking time, like you said, and so I and prior to actually having breathwork.

Rebecca Green (25:49.902)
I did what you said. I would actually go to the gorge, go to the beach, turn my phone off. I actually find that going to a different environment helps crack me open in a different way. just don't just have get in the car, drive somewhere, have no, and just be open, just seeing what presents itself. Don't listen, don't listen to music. Don't just have a quietness and

Just in even I found like even just interactions going out like I'd go to the gorge, go on a hike, go have like and again just creating space and talking to people. I find the ideas start to flow and I go, okay. But so that's what I used to do. But then in 2018, I discovered breath work and now I'm crazy about it. It's helped me make many big transformations in my life. It is a tool that I have in my tool belt that I use for a few different

reasons. One, I need helps get clarity, clarity in my life helps me recalibrate my nervous system, essentially, find myself in a more calmer grounded state. So for me, I struggle a little bit with a crazy monkey brain ADHD, have some anxiety, you know, but this is a tool that I use. And then it just

kind of makes me a better version of myself and essentially what it is. So breath work, there's all kinds of breath work, like yoga, like you do yoga, vinyasa, all kinds of yoga, all kinds of breath work. the practice that I do specifically, it's passed down from my teacher, David Elliott, and it's a pranayama style breath work and it's done through an open mouth and it's like an active breathing exercise. So,

I do my own practice, when you're new, you should have a facilitator. I always recommend doing it in person with somebody. actually just heard, you can now people do it on zoom. Actually just for a story last week where somebody was doing and having a really intense experience and on zoom and his mom didn't know what was, what was going on and thought he was having a stroke and was freaked out.

Rebecca Green (28:00.846)
freaked out, started to fit and then gets on the mom gets on her son's like 25 years old or something gets on the zoom with like probably like lots of people on the zoom with the teacher I just walked in and my son is having what's going on here because she had no idea and so she's on the screen with everybody. I've said this funny story heard last week. Crazy because she had no idea. But because he was all you know convulsing on the on the couch and kind of because you have a so

You will have a physical experience, an emotional, a spiritual experience. So essentially you're doing this active breathing meditation. I recommend having somebody walk you through it, but you're doing this breathing exercise for 30 minutes. And then after the 30 minutes of breathing, you have a rest period where you're just kind of, just kind of in a transformed state. And then the whole session is about an hour. So

I found the first time I did it so moving, I actually ended up getting certified to teach it with truly actually no desire to really teach it. But then I couldn't stop talking about it. And now I do what I call pop-up breathwork classes. Now again, it's my passion job because I feel that everybody should know this. I mean, it's an invaluable tool for everybody. But I particularly, I've now taught a few different real estate

retreats and conferences, because I love it for real estate agents. So what I really love, I love it for people who think it's not for them. I love it for the type A, hard chargers. I love it for the non-woo woo people who say, that's not for me. I don't do that. I'm like, yeah, me neither. That's what's interesting, right? But what's interesting is clarity is for everything. Totally. And how we get to the clarity. Yeah.

can come in different forms, but clarity is for everybody. And I think the hamster wheel syndrome and the not understanding what we want is an inability to recognize what clarity means. And maybe the lack of seeking clarity out. Cause I'll be honest with you, you told me about the breath work. My type A personality was like,

Rebecca Green (30:12.792)
Do you think that I would actually be transformed? Because I'm such a control freak. Is that possible?

Rebecca Green (30:22.99)
Yeah. Right. Is that possible for me? And the answer is like, who am I kidding? Clarity is for everybody. Yeah. Yeah. but now I mean, I just laugh because anyone who thinks it's not for them, I was like, no, it's for you. Do you, if I think if you have a desire to have feel any bit better in your life, do you feel do desire to have more joy, more peace, more love, more calmness? Is there any area from business relation? Is there anything to kind of have any improvement?

If it's like, sure, then it's for you. would say one of my favorite breathworks, and I've introduced breathwork to many people now, which I love, but probably one of my favorite breathwork students is actually my home inspector. I swear to God, I swear to God, I have a video testimony of him. My home inspector, because when I'm passionate about something, I'm talking about a lot, and I can have this contagious energy about it.

So I'd be at home inspections talking about my breath work to Brendan. And he's like, okay. And then finally he's like, I'm going to try this breath work that you talked about. First time he did it, he loved it. And now he's really consistent about doing his open crack. He'll do that session and he sends me a voice memos like, or text. just want them so grateful that you've introduced this to me.

It's invaluable for him. And I love this analogy he gave. said, Kim, it's like defragging the computer. If you guys are old enough to know what that means. That's how he says, he said, it's like defragging the computer is breath work. Okay, so let's just talk about you saying you've done this for like real estate agents. What came to mind, and my dog's barking in the background. So sorry about that, everybody. That's right. What came to mind when you said, Hey, I've done this for agents and,

what I was tapping into about the conversations I'm having with agents that I mentor. No one teaches you the importance of these things in real estate school and no one, I've yet to know a brokerage that has somebody that comes and talks to their agents about life work balance, right? You know, it is such an important part of

Rebecca Green (32:41.538)
being a great business owner and leader, right? But no one talks about it in the industry. No, you just have to like- They talk about volume and they talk about number of transactions, not balance and life and structure and creating healthy businesses for yourself and your family. No, I mean, this is, I think same as-

going to doctor and they're saying, I'm sick. Okay, what are your symptoms? Here's a pharmaceutical product to manage your symptoms. I don't know, but why do I have this? Do you have any desire to look at root cause? Is there anything else? mean, so it's just, it's so backwards. It is so backwards. And again, and I feel that this business is ripe for transition and disruption in a lot of different ways. I feel like,

Yeah, because I just don't think that this career, how it's set up, brokerages, have they been set up traditionally, are not serving agents. And I think you don't know, don't know, agents get into this business, they didn't realize, and then they're three, five, 10 years, and they're like, wait, I just spent a whole lot of time doing this and not in a way that's really serving me in the best way. I I say this all the time too. In my opinion, a lot of agents,

Now my dogs are really freaking out. My dogs are agreeing that there's disruption to be had in the industry. Yeah. You know what makes me sad? I mean, what you're saying is like disruption and change and brokerages weren't built. I got a call from an agent this week asking for, you know, about coaching and mentoring. And she led by saying, I hate my business right now. And that just made me so sad. But I think it's a systemic problem. I think like you saying like, you know,

A lot of brokers that I've taught this to and I've done workshops, they're like, whoa, I didn't even know that A, this existed, B, I needed it, or C, that I should be focused in thinking about these things. And that is a systemic problem. Yeah, because we should be leading with quality of life, right? We should be. Not the monument money. do you think the lifestyle that, or again,

Rebecca Green (35:05.782)
the life that agents tend to, again, successful agents tend to live have a negative impact on their relationships. A very large percentage. A large percentage. Yeah. And a contributing factor to like a divorce. Totally. And what impact does a divorce have on your life? In your home? Tremendous. know? And it's always like, I don't know.

Was that maybe you need to get divorced, but maybe also maybe not. Maybe if you had more time and space to nurture a relationship or a million different things. right now I'm in a season where I'm, my marriage, I mean, I've always said that here are my priorities. I'm number one, my marriage is number two, my children's the number three, then my business, because if I'm not healthy and well, I can't take care of them. But then it's my marriage because you know what?

Your relationship goes sideways and going through a divorce is a major life disruption.

I don't that to happen, you know? Yeah, and it is sad to me. It is sad to me. You know, I'm so fortunate because I have this great support system and my husband recognized that season that I was in with continual growth. And, you know, I was super conscientious, even so, even though I was so busy, I was very conscientious about my Sundays and cooking dinner for my family has always been a thing. That's like my de-stressor, right? So I was, I was still making decisions.

for us, but I wasn't fully there. I wasn't ever fully present because I mean, I say this to people all the time, you know, like also this is an age thing, but it's like syntax error, right? Syntax error. Do remember when the old computers would like pop up? was like, there's too much going on, like no available RAM. Like I'm just, you know, on, you know, information overload. And so,

Rebecca Green (37:05.772)
You know, for me, this season of my career was really to step back and make sure I wasn't making those same mistakes so that I could coach and mentor the agents that I was so passionate about helping in a healthier way. Yeah. Right. It's a healthier way. And people don't talk enough about that in this industry at all. And I think actually, you know what?

So if you were to ask me right now, you're like, somebody's listening to this, they're not in a great spot, their business isn't serving them, what advice would you give? I mean, a couple of things. Take some space, number one. Go take some space, find some quiet time. Again, do some breath work, whatever. But also have conversations with different people, get into different rooms, get a mentor, get a coach, you know, have somebody who's going to ask it in an environment where somebody is going to ask you.

Questions and make you think things and a little bit differently. That is something that I realized switching brokerages really Helped let it got me in different conversations different rooms and I started thinking differently So that is also a really when you're talking about just tactical steps like step one get quiet step to Find somebody a coach or mentor somebody again. It could be somebody in your office. That's a little ahead of you in life Just you know

have being community with other people. Again, maybe switch brokerages. Like there are some things that really then start to help you shift and look. And then I think mostly back to your thing, getting clear on your why and also, and what's important. And then for me, I feel strongly about also getting an alignment list, you know, so I'm married, I have a partner. So what's important is also I need to be on the same page with my home and my spouse on that too.

Because like we need to be rowing in the same direction as well. And that's I was saying. was fortunate my husband was super supportive, but he was hating seeing how much I was working and how stressed I was. And then the constant like, you know, he always would say, because I have that busy mind too.

Rebecca Green (39:13.802)
And even if I was home doing something, he's like, I can literally look at you and hear, you know, your mind spinning. And so that's a stressful environment for everyone around you. So yeah, your tactical steps are bang on. Part of this conversation makes me sad because the real estate business is such a great business to have. Yeah. It's such a business to run. just, the part that makes me sad is people don't talk about the

burnout and the emotional toll it can take. People don't talk enough about that. And I don't know, I'm kind of on a mission to actually change that a little bit. I think, and the big thing is you really, if you really want to desire a better life kind of work balance, you're also going to have to be ready to take some scary steps. Let me tell you. Not be in control of everything. Not in control. I took a six months sabbatical or maybe five months from.

from June 30th to December 1st, I stepped out of my business in 2021. People thought I was crazy. didn't think I'd be able to do it. They would think I would be involved. like, no, I stepped out and I needed space and I needed time. I'm little nervous. Yeah, and that was very scary. And that was very scary. But I just said, you know what?

This is not serving me. I don't know what is for me, but this is not for me. So I went like kind of cold turkey, literally. It was an eye for me. I had a very specific day. It was Labor Day, was Memorial Day weekend. I thought I was gonna have the weekend off and it turns out I had to work. I had weekend off in months. My children, had spent a quality time with them. I thought I was gonna have Sunday off. Then I had an agent doing my open house and they couldn't. So I had to do the open house. And then here I am.

crying in a fetal position on a Sunday before going to the open house. I was like, I just want to be home with my family. did not want to to this open house. And I tried, they can offer somebody, I'll pay you $150, whatever, somebody take it. And nobody would take my open house. And then I just was like, I'm stepping out and I don't know what this is going to look like. And then I felt so guilty because I had clients I was in transaction with. But that Monday I called my team.

Rebecca Green (41:31.15)
I called my clients. was like, Hey, and June 30th. this is Memorial Day weekend. June 30th is going to be like my last day in production for the rest of the year. I'm going to take the rest of the year off and, and, and I don't know, take some space. And it was the best thing that I ever did. But also I would say conversation with my naturopath helped me get there too. Cause when we're talking about health and I was like, dude, I'm just like my, I, I, my cortisol level is so high. mean, constant stress state.

This is not sustainable. so, but you have to be, you have to be prepared to have uncomfortable conversations. identity, let me tell you this identity. You know, my identity, it's wrapped into be a top producer, self-worth. Yes. Hello. That's me. Like I'm a worker. I'm a big, I'm a good worker. I work really hard. I'm successful. So I had to say, and now like, you know, I had to let go of my self-worth that's tied to.

production and being a successful agent. I mean, I joke I was successful, but I'm like, but I have no time to cook my children a healthy meal and I'm feeding them processed poison because I don't have time to be intentional about the food I'm putting into my children and I know better about food and how important my children eating healthy food is. Everything, everything. And I'm going to circle back to the client, right? Because

We talked, we touched on, you know, understanding what you really want, what you need. That's one thing. We also touched on how brokerages maybe don't, not maybe, but definitely don't promote the importance of work-life balance and implement things to help agents achieve that or even have the conversation and talk about it. But also you've got to think that if you're in a

better mindset, you're actually better for your client. And that's been a positive for me walking out of jumping off the hamster wheel, right? I can actually serve my clients in a much better way, whether that be my real estate clients, because I still do work with a handful of them in more of a limited capacity, and or the agents that I coach and mentor, because I've had the ability and learned to say no to so many things.

Rebecca Green (43:46.638)
it gives me the space to say yes to more important things and also to be present. Yeah, totally. Right? In a better way. So yes, there's benefit all around and really it can benefit your business because I think people are fearful of stopping the craziness because maybe they're going to lose business. And what I'm trying to say is your business can get better. And I believe 100 % will get better.

when you're realigned and in a better head space and also physical space. Sure. I mean, and I think like, I think there's, if you could help agents figure out their profitability piece and work less and be more profitable. I think that in itself, if you just focused on that less hours.

better systems, less hours, better clients, higher profitability. That's great because it- that's part of my mission too. Sally, so many of us have been doing it wrong. You know what I I love it. So until you hit, then you hit burnout, then you don't know what to do. You jump off the amps to where your life blows up and then your life, there's going to be a blow up somewhere. There's going to be a blow up. And so you need to yeah, they can help you get to a better place.

It can help you get to a better place. So I'm going to leave on a closing statement about profitability and what the space created for me in that arena. I'm doing half the volume at twice the profitability. And that might be a topic for another episode, but we appreciate everyone who's listening. And Kim, do you have anything to wrap it up with? don't. I want to learn about this twice the volume half. No, no, twice the profitability.

Sorry, twice the profitability, half the volume. That is, mean, seriously, that is like, that's what I wanna know about that. Yeah. Good, we'll talk about that. I think think so, mostly I love having this conversation. So I think it's important and not enough people are having it. So burnout, balance, work by balance, how to figure it out, understanding there's just different seasons in your career. Do you have any breath work sessions coming up? I wish, no, not yet. Okay.

Rebecca Green (46:04.271)
No, not yet, but it's on, it is on my goal, it's on my radar to put together a few pop-up, I really want to actually host a retreat for real estate agents here soon. And that's not being a piece of it, but I have lot of things on Well, we'll everyone posted on that. We'll keep everyone posted on But there are great teachers and I could refer you to somebody else who can walk you through breath work for anyone who's interested. great. All right, well, thanks everyone. Okay. Bye.